Monday, Nov. 28th...

1 - With enemies like this who needs friends? When the CFL play-offs began theDING was solidly in the corner of his hometown Calgary Stampeders. Unfortunately for theDING, the Stamps were downed by the much maligned Edmonton Eskimos in the West Division Semi-Final. With his hometown Stamps out, theDING threw his weight behind the B.C. Lions. But alas, they to fell prey to one Jason M. Mass and the rest of the Edmonton Eskimos. Finally, with Edmonton in the Grey Cup, and theDING praying for a Montreal Allouette victory, the Eskies won again. Edmonton's overall play-off record when theDING is cheering against them: 3-0. M.O.F. is curious as to whether or not this trend will continue, and is eager to see if it transcends other sports.

2 - Funny story that might make its way on to a campus bulletin board:

Ex-Edmonton Oiler's centerman Shaun Van Allen gets his bell rung at center ice in Edmonton. Ex-Edmonton Oiler's coach Ron Low sends the trainer out to have a look. The trainer returns with Van Allen, who is still looking a little wobbly. Low yells, "What's wrong with Van Allen." The trainer replies, "he can't remember what his name is!" Low yells back, "Good, tell him he's Wayne Gretzky."

3 - Five random facts from Dyson.net:

(1) No piece of paper can be folded in half seven times.
(2) A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.
(3) Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.
(4) It is possible to lead a cow upstairs, but not downstairs.
(5) The King of Hearts is the only king without a mustache.

4 - It's election time in Canada. Judging from all the letters on the CBC website you'd think the Liberals are going to steam role everyone. Probably won't happen, but anyway, here are several facts most people don't know about the upcoming campaign/election:

(1) Voters are filling the Conservative campaign coffers with donations, while the Liberals are just getting by.
(2) The Bloc's lead in Quebec is pretty much untouchable, while some polls actually place the NDP at the top in B.C.
(3) The Conservatives and NDP have unveiled a solid list of candidates to run in ridings they don't hold, while the Liberals are losing some key personal. Check it out here.
(4) Liberal Golden Boy candidate Michael Ignatieff is already facing hostility in his own riding. Check it out here.
(5) A poll taken right after the government fell had the Liberals and Conservatives in a dead heat.

More on this later...

5 - Today's sign of the apocalypse: Psychic sues NASA for deliberately crashing a satellite into a comet, thus altering the heavenly bodies and rendering the horoscope she relies on to make her living, useless.

6 - Christmas is just around the corner, and the CFL is heading into the offseason. With that in mind we've compiled our CFL Christmas wish-list:

B.C. Lions - An Offensive Line: The turnstiles at Safeway could offer better pass protection than what Dickenson and Printers are forced to work with.
Edmonton Eskimos - R.E.S.P.E.C.T: As far as Grey Cup victories go, the Eskimos are more deserving this year than the Argos were last year, and the Argos became the toast of the CFL. Let's see if the Esks get the same treatment.
Calgary Stampeders - Fans: Question, if McMahon Stadium is empty and there's no one around to hear it, is it still silent? Stampeder fans, with the exception of theDING and a few others, sit on their hands.
Saskatchewan Roughriders - A quarterback: Duh!
Winnipeg Blue Bombers - Nothing: They have Milt Stegall, what more could they want.
Ottawa Renegades - Everything: This off-season, we'll find out what Santa is really made of.
Toronto Argonauts - A receiver who actually walks the walk after he talks the talk: The Argos have the most overated recieving corps in all of football.
Hamilton Tiger Cats - A winning season: As if living next to Toronto wasn't bad enough.
Montreal Allouettes - Coal: If Don Matthews isn't on Santa's naughty list, he should be.

7 - Speaking of CFL, congrats to Damon Allen, who was just named as the CFL's Most Outstanding Player, just like we said he would be.

8 - Quote of the Week:

Sports Illustrated Senior Writer Rick Rielly when asked by Oprah Winfrey why some men cried when the Chicago White Sox won the World Series, but didn't cry at there own weddings:

"If you'd have turned him down for eighty-eight years, he would have."

9 - Today's other sign of the Apocalypse: Ronald MacDonald Caught Stealing from Wendy's.

Until next time...

M.O.F.

Wednesday, November 16th...

1 - Alouettes 30, Riders 14, sickening... oh well, as theDING would say, 'why not next year'?

2 - On the brightside, we're pretty sure Gainer the Gopher could kick the tar out of the Alouettes mascot.

3 - The heat is now on Rider GM Roy Shivers and coach Danny Barrett, and rightfully so. But all this talk of firing them is just plain silly. Rider fans have a short memory. It wasn't so long ago that Saskatchewan was the CFL's version of Siberia. We didn't have a chance at attracting free agents or undrafted NCAA players. The city of Regina does not make a good first impression... ever. However, with Shivers and Barrett, Saskatchewan is considered one of the top places to play, and much sought after free agents actually consider us as a valid option (or atleast they did until some idiot threatened kicker Paul McCallum's wife). There is no question that this years team underachieved, but for prospective players, Shivers and Barrett are the most attractive GM/coach tandem in the league.

4 - CFL Predictions:

Western Final - Edmonton 33 B.C. 16

Edmonton's Jason Mass is becoming a folk hero, and B.C. is collapsing at the worst possible time. Expect Rickey Ray to play better, but if he doesn't, Mass is in the groove. Dave Dickenson is beat up, and Casey Printers is a shell of the quarterback that won last year's Most Outstanding Player Award.

Eastern Final - Toronto 29 Montreal 21

Toronto's offense sucks, but not as bad as Montreal's defense. (Depressing how they held the Riders to only 14 points isn't it...)

5 - Today's quote:

'The toughest thing about running the New York Marathon is knowing which gun shot came from the starters pistol.'

- David Letterman -

6 - Today's sign of the Apocalypse: Politician Offers to Send Russian Soccer Fans to Quell Riots in France

'I am convinced that our initiative would restore total order and
calm the rioting in 48 hours.'

- Vladimir Zhirinovsky - (quote from article)

7 - Some thoughts on this: (A) This idea is brilliant, nobody finishes a riot quicker than a mob of angry soccer fans. 48 hours of uncontrolled rioting and they'd be forced to stop because there'd be nothing left to burn. (B) This article may seem like a fake, but Steve-O from Belair, Michigan vouches for it's credibility, and if it's good enough for the Average Joe from Northern Michigan then it's good enough for us.

8 - The Rider loss was sickening, but not as brutal as this.

'Voters just didn't respond to positive messages, but they
had a hunger for negative ads.'

- Unidentified Senior Liberal - (quote from article)

One Conservative Campaign planner agreed. And people wonder why politics is such a nasty game. Sheesh...

9 - Jim Reed Watch: We're still not taking him seriously...

10 - Puzzling question of the day: Sharia Law (used to settle desputes between Muslims) is discriminatory, especially against women. One-sided divorce laws, arranged marriages, and spousal abuse are just some of the problems women face. On the other hand, the Catholic Church won't let women become priests. Who do you think takes more flack from the media and intelligentsia? Check out this article to see the latest grenade to be lobbed at the Catholic Church, this one by Vickie Robertson. Robertson grew up in Halifax with close ties to the military, travelled for many years, and is now a married part-time student. The article has its pro's and con's:

PRO - 'The concepts of charity and a just society have been the basis
of the church's teachings for years. However, this admirable history
is overshadowed by predator priests and the unattainable covenants
that make Catholic guilt part of its folklore.'

CON - 'In the absence of laws, playing on an instinctive fear of death
is pretty clever. Behave and your soul lives forever; misbehave and
you go to hell. It's a good way to create civility in a lawless
society. Two thousand years ago, it made sense, but today, we have
laws, and I refuse to believe that we are born evil just waiting for
the church to preach it out of us.'

Overall Impression: Plenty of good points, especially about practicing what you preach. Especially liked the line 'religion is not about making life easier, and Catholicism is not a buffet – help yourself to the meat but skip the veggies'. However just as the good works of the Catholic Church have been overshadowed by countless sexual abuse scandels, the good points in Robertson's column are overshadowed by her poor assumptions about Christian teaching. M.O.F. gets the impression Robertson has an axe to grind.

11 - Better end this post on a good note: Penguins 3 Flyers 2 (OT)

Oh yeah!!!!

Until next time...

Man on Fire

Thursday, November 10th, Man on Fire speaks...

1 - Man on Fire asked for it, and the Globe and Mail has delivered. Last post we wondered how two teens getting electocuted at a French power plant could lead to mass rioting in Paris' suberbs. Then we wondered why no one else was wondering the same thing. Thankfully, last Monday the prestigious Globe and Mail provided a timeline and a well written article detailing what had transpired over the past several days. Check it out here. Kudos to the CBC who put there own timeline out the next day.

2 - Now that we know what's going on in Paris we have to admit...we're still stumped. As one Hassen Farsadou noted in 'The Globe's' article, if these boys who riot have never set foot in a mosque, why are they so worked up? Poor immagration policies? No or poor employment opportunities? An intolerant population? We aren't positive, but we think that is bull. The article states that close observers see no political or religious demension to the violence. We get the impression that anyone who tries to justify these riots by bringing up immigration policies or employment has an agenda.

3 - The team here at Man on Fire loves to read other peoples blogs, and we found a sweet post the other day. 'Doxasky' Google searched 'Sylvia needs' just to see what would happen. Finding out what Sylvia needs is guite humorous(ex. Sylvia needs a public projection of her literary talents). M.O.F. laughed out loud, and decided to get in on the action. So we Googled 'Man on Fire needs' and found two results: 'Man on Fire needs to be extinguished', and 'Man on Fire needs to be remembered'. We're thinking either one or the other will happen.

4 - Today's sign of the apocalypse: 'Terrel Owens apologizes.'

5 - Today's other sign of the apocalypse: 'NHL on pace for a dozen or so fifty goal scorers.'

6 - Speaking of the apocalypse, Man on Fire suggests watching 'Apocalypse Now' if you're a war movie person. It's about some crazy mission during the Vietnam War undertaken by an even crazier soldier (Martin Sheen) and his even crazier counterparts (namely Robert Duvall) in an attempt to take down an even crazier renegade Green Beret (Marlon Brando) who has convinced a tribe of natives in Cambodia that he's God. That's about all we can say. Truth be known, we've only seen about half the movie.

7 - Quote of the week, from Billy Bob Thornton in 'The Bad News Bears'...

'Well guys, looks like the game's gonna end in a tie. Now I know what they say about ties... that it's like kissing your sister. But the way we've been playin', it's like kissing your really hot step sister.'

This one will probably find its way to a campus bulletin board.

8 - The most sickening thing we've seen this week is how the federal NDP is going about pushing forward it's inevitable non-confidence motion. If you don't know what we're talking about, then you need to get off your backside and read a newspaper. Federal NDP leader Jack Layton is convinced Canadian voters don't want a Christmas election. Fair enough. What Layton doesn't realize is that the Prime Minister sets the date for an election. So really, if the federal Liberals fall before Christmas, and Paul Martin sets an election date sometime in late December, it's his own fault. Despite all this, we predict Stephen Harper and the Conservatives somehow get blamed. It happens every time.

9 - Speaking of a Christmas election, the crew at M.O.F. was wondering if there's ever a good time for an election. Think about it. If there's one thing we've learned this year it's that summer elections are about as popular north of the border as hockey is south of the border. You could say the same thing about Christmas elections. So what options are left, there's the fall election, but who wants to vote and listen to campaign speeches during Thanksgiving, harvest, and Remebrance Day. There's the spring election, but if we have the choice between watching the Flames and Canucks fight to the death in the NHL
play-offs, or watch a political debate, we'll watch hockey every time. You might wonder about those people who don't like hockey. To that we say 'that's what college basketball's for' (read: March Madness). Spring is bad for baseball fans too. So basically, M.O.F. has come to the conclusion that either a) the majority of Canadians are living in such a pathetic state that civic duty has become a four letter word, or b) the majority of Canadian news agencies do not have a clue what they are talking about. Frankly, we wouldn't be surprised if either were true.

10 - Fear mongering is not something we like to promote, but we have to admit, this article was horrifying. We need to pray for North Korea. On a side note, this is state run day care at it's most extreme, and now Canada wants to get in on the act. Scary.

11 - Name the last time you saw Muslim leaders denounced Islamic Extremists. While the law of averages states that at some point throughout the last ten years some Muslim leader has probably taken a stand and said "terrorism is wrong, and is not compatable with true Muslim teaching", we can't remember such an event ever occuring. That's why it's so encouraging to see this. What's even more encouraging is that the demonstration was actually reported. Rioters in France take note, if you want to make a point, this is how you go about making it.

12 - T.O. jokes aside, if you want an insightful column on Terrell Owens check out Skip Bayless on ESPN.com. Bayless has written an article based on an assumption that no one else has even considered: that Owens is a human being. We have to admit we don't like T.O., but after reading this article we do feel sorry for him.

13 - Man on Fire is not superstitious, so we have no qualms about ending on 'lucky' thirteen. We also have no qualms about blowing our own horn. Just this week the CFL named the two finalists for the Most Outstanding Player Award: Corey Holmes and Damon Allen. Just remember, you heard it here first. We still think Allen will win, and not just because he's the sentimental favorite or the CFL is trying to cator to the every whim of both of Toronto's CFL fans. The fact is, Allen has had a great statistical year, and has been the only spark on a dormant underachieving Argo offense (hello John Avery and Hakim Hill). The point is reinforced by the fact that there were only four Argonauts named to the East Division offensive all-star team. Remember, this is the same division that produced the two most inept offenses in recent memory, courtesy of the Ottawa Renegades and Hamilton Ti-Cats. Even with the Alouette offensive jugernaut, a healthy offense should have produced more all-stars. Now there are some who will say 'hey, it's a team game, all-star awards don't matter'. To that we say, true, however, the point we are trying to make is that as Damon Allen goes, so go the Argos. That's all for now. God Bless.

M.O.F.

Friday, November 4th,...

1 - Today is a historic day in the world of M.O.F. The first preseason game in the history of the E.C.F.H.A. was played today. Congradulations to The End Times Hockey Battalion who came out on top with a 10-1 win. The regular season opens on Sunday.

2 - Today's qoute come's from former New York Rangers GM Emile Francis, who was less than thrilled with the ice at Madison Square Garden:

'I've seen better ice on roads in Saskatchewan!"

3 - Red Green has decided to call it quits. Actor Steve Smith says he's ready to move on, but Man on Fire is not. We'll miss you Red. (Note to readers, the last official episode of Red Green will be aired in March)

4 - Here's a story you might appreciate. October 5th, 2005, Toronto's Air Canada Centre. It's opening night in the NHL. After a year long lockout, the game is back and the players are ready to go. Just one problem. The visiting Ottawa Senators can't get into the building because someone lost the key. Says Sens captain Daniel Alfredsson, 'I thought the lockout was over.'

5 - Man on Fire is not impressed with Macleans', Canada's version of Newsweek, for it's proud defense of hazing. Check out this article by Tony Keller on Macleans' website. Then check out this article by Georgie Binks. Keller says hazing and bullying are different, but never gives any evidence to support his point. Binks, however, makes a strong case against hazing by comparing it to what happened at Abu Ghraib prison. Based on these two articles we are still against hazing. Oh, on the Macleans' website is another article about hazing, claiming that people who endure hazing become proud of their accomplishments. Binks squashes that theory too. M.O.F. is impressed.

6 - While Macleans is down, we may as well kick them. We weren't real impressed with their earlier issue about the so called 'Age of Wimps'. Macleans, like Georgie Binks, has noticed that Canadian men are a shadow of their former selves. It is conmendable that Macleans noticed their is a problem, but we disagree with their solution. Their bashing of the Canadian Tire Man was weak to. Man on Fire is no Canadian Tire fan, but in our opinion, that article was shallow. Check it out here. It's hard to believe Assistant Editor John Intini has nothing better to do with his time.

7 - Having said that, we'd like to know where the Canadian Tire Man gets all his money to purchase his cool, and extremely expensive, tools. If Macleans wants to attack his credibility, that would be a valid question.

8 - As far as Man on Fire is concerned, CBC journalist Jim Reed will not be taken seriously until further notice. Notice the opening paragraph, which says Iran's true feelings towards Israel were not expressed by its hardline conservative government. We wish that were true, but we wonder what 'real powers in Iran' Reed is talking about. If the guy elected by a majority to form a government is not the real power, that's a cause for concern.

9 - Man on Fire is confused. Roughly a week ago two French teenagers were electrocuted by transformers while hiding from police. In response teenagers from Paris' suberbs riot. Now this article by Victor Tonelli asserts that 'their frustration at high unemployment and the perception they lack economic oportunities' is partly to blame. He also states that the riots were caused by the two deaths. We fail to see how this all fits together, and would appreciate some enlightenment, since nobody in the media is providing it.

10 - It's that time of year again: CFL play-offs. But before that the league has to pick its Most Outstanding Player. The hometowner in us wants Corey Holmes to win. The diminutive running back/kick returner/slot back has seen and done it all for the Riders. But as much as it pains us to say this, we're giving it to a member of the Toronto Argonauts. Stand-up and take a bow Damon Allen. Allen will win the award regardless of whether or not he deserves it. Why? He's been in the leauge since the 80's and he's never won the M.O.P. Can you say sentimental favourite?

For our final note, we will take one final shot at hazing. Top arguement for hazing, if the players support it, let them do it (see Macleans). We wonder why nobody ever says the same thing when talking about visors or the instigator rule, but that's another random thought for another day. Take care.

Man on Fire